A spouse’s adultery, once discovered, can lead to arguments, resentment, and even divorce. But do courts look less favorably upon an adulterer in a divorce case?

Generally, no — thanks to the concept of “no-fault” divorce, now available in all 50 states. In a “no-fault” divorce, either spouse can seek a divorce for any reason, and it doesn’t matter who’s at fault.

But some states still allow the option to pursue a “fault” divorce, in which adultery may play a role. Here’s how adultery can factor in to a “fault” divorce case:

Adultery may lead to a quicker divorce.

In states that allow for both “fault” and “no-fault” divorces, “fault” cases may actually get finalized quicker. That’s because many states require waiting periods for “no-fault” divorces, ranging from 20 days to 18 months.

By contrast, there’s generally no waiting period for a “fault” divorce due to adultery. But the adultery must first be proven in court, which could take time if you’re involved in a contentious divorce.

Kobe Bryant’s wife, Vanessa, filed  for divorce just before Christmas. A week later, Bryant has moved out and is living in a resort in Southern California.

Bryant has released statements that he did not want to end the marriage. However, he has also stated that he will pay spousal support and accept any of Vanessa’s demands during the divorce.

Bryant has been laying low at the resort and keeping mostly to himself. His attitude as well as his behavior indicate that for now the divorce process will remain civil.

Kobe Bryant is adamant that he will not give up on his marriage for the sake of his children.

Bryant’s wife, Vanessa, filed for divorce after Bryant was accused of cheating on several different occasions.

Bryant is concerned about what the divorce as well as growing up in two households will do to his two young daughters.  He has been distraught over the divorce and would like to find a way for him and Vanessa to get along, for the sake of the children.

Before the allegations surfaced, Bryant’s family was unaware of his alleged exploits.  Despite the tensions Bryant says he will not give up.

Recent reports have surfaced that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may be heading for a divorce.

As reported by various news sources including New York Divorce News, Moore may be finally fed up with murmurs of Kutcher’s infidelity.

“After 6 years of marriage and constant qualms about their legitimacy due to the large age difference, it appears that Demi Moore and Aston Kutcher are headed for a large $290 million divorce. According to Star Magazine, Aston Kutcher has ‘once again’ cheated on Demi, this time with a young 23 year old blonde, Sara Leal.”

Read More : New York Divorce News

Text messages are already an integral part of our society so it makes sense that they become important in divorce proceedings. According to a recent study from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, text messaging was one of the top three most common forms of electronic evidence.

If you suspect your spouse is cheating, what better way to find out than through his inbox? To do so, you can either read directly off the cell phone while your spouse is distracted or by removing them from the phone.

However, before you snoop, keep in mind, going through someone else’s cell phone is illegal in some states and the information you find may be made inadmissible in court so make sure to act on reasonable suspicion.

But cell phone companies don’t store messages anymore than a guilty spouse would.

Mark Siegel, the executive director of media and industry analyst relations for AT&T Wireless said that he knows of no way to save a text message, other than just not deleting it from the phone. He said AT&T stores text messages for 48 hours to ensure they are delivered, and then deletes them.

Verizon Wireless spokesperson, Deborah Lewis, says her company does not keep text messages on their servers for any length of time but if there are retrievable messages, a subpoena is required to obtain copies.

John Simek, vice president of Sensei Enterprises Inc., a Virginia computer forensics company, says the best chance at getting any text information if through searching the handset. If the messages are deleted, professionals may be called in.

If someone deletes their text messages, a company such as his own can try to retrieve the messages using several programs, such as Sim Card Seizure, Paraben Device Seizure, or BitPim. His company has seen an increase in requests to text messages

When the company gains access to the text messages, it can save them for the client, and then testify in court for the messages’ information, mollifying the worry over inadmissibility.

For more information, check out: divorce 360

In Massachusetts, the Senate has made an important change to divorce law by passing an alimony reform bill. This new legislation reforms a trial judge’s ability to determine the length of alimony, consequently ending lifetime spousal support by enforcing duration determining guidelines.

Before the bill was passed, alimony would continue passed the age of retirement which left one person sipping pina coladas on a beach in Cabo, collecting alimony, and the other individual working to support the person’s lifestyle. The bill now states alimony in long term marriages (those that exceed twenty years) ends at the retirement age decreed by the Social Security Act. With shorter term marriages, a specific time period would be implemented for the alimony payment, every case being different.

What does this mean? It means that Massachusetts may be the first domino to topple, and in due time, the rest of the states may follow.  This is a bill that will make positive changes; a bill that will allow people to leave their broken marriages behind and make peace with their lives-something that the constant reminder of alimony payments doesn’t provide.

Affairs usually happen because for one partner “needs are not being met,” according to Marty Miller, a licensed marriage and family counselor in Shreveport. To deal with the affair, he suggests, it is necessary to understand why it happened.

The most difficult obstacle in overcoming an affair is to heal the breach of trust. Leesa Sitter, a licensed clinical social worker, explains that “healing after an affair does not occur overnight,” but “marriage can survive an affair.”

Recovering can take a lot of time and takes true commitment. Kimberly McClelland, also a licensed clinical social worker, explains that infidelity is an opportunity for both partners to focus on the marriage and make it “the priority.”

Read the full article here.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has refused Maria Shriver’s request for financial support post-divorce. He filed papers to the Los Angeles Superior Court on Wednesday and his lawyer, Bob Kaufman, checked a box in order to make the court unable to award support. Schwarzenegger is also looking to be granted joint custody of their two younger children, Patrick, 17, and Christopher, 13. They also have two older children, Katherine, 21, and Christina, 19.

This May, Schwarzenegger admitted that he had fathered a child with the family’s housekeeper, Mildred Baena, and announced the couple’s separation. Shriver filed for divorce from Schwarzenegger three weeks ago, citing “irreconcilable differences.”

Read the full article here: Yahoo News

This past Friday, Maria Shriver filed for divorce from former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Announcing their separation in May, the couple was married for 25 years and has four children together. According to a source from RadarOnline.com, their lawyers have been discussing the settlement for over two months. Schwarzenegger is worth up to $750 million and expected to give his ex-wife a “very generous divorce settlement.”

The media has had eyes on the couple after Schwarzenegger’s revelation that he had an affair and a love child with a former housekeeper who had worked for the couple for twenty years. Under the law in California, known as a “Community Property” state, assets that are accumulated during a marriage can be split in half with a divorce. RadarOnline reported that Schwarzenegger plans to give Shriver an amount even greater than that required by the state law. A source stated that Arnold “doesn’t think that any amount of money can minimize what he has put her through” and “wants to show his children that he is taking responsibility for his actions.”

To learn more, check out this New York Post article:

As a New York divorce attorney I see failed marriages all day long.  I often wonder why marriages fail and wish the couples could have prevented the divorce (even though that’s how I make a living).  I would prefer to see two people be happy if possible and I’m more than aware that sometimes it’s not.

Research has shown that the top ten reasons marriages fail are:

1. Financial Stress – communication about money may be causing you grief.   How you and your spouse deal with bills, debt, budget and other money-related issues can make or break your marriage.  Reaching a compromise with your spouse in this area can help safeguard your marriage from failure.

 

2. Communication Problems – if you haven’t figured this one out already: getting married does not solve your communication problem, it may make it worse.  Because the sharing of information is crucial to the success of your relationship, the lack of it is almost a guarantee of failure.

 

3. Family Stressors – children, parents, siblings and all other relations can affect the home environment.  Letting these stressors affect the relationship can destroy it.

 

4. Sexual Issues – sex is a red hot topic and can impact a couples compatibility.  Infidelity, infrequency and the quality of the physical intimacy are all factors to be considered.  Sexual compatibility also requires discussion, which if absent in a relationship can lead to problems.  Adultery, or having sexual relations outside of your marriage, is a leading cause of failed marriage.

 

5. Discord Regarding Friends – friends of one of the partners may not get along well with the new spouse.  If the friend does not become a positive part of the relationship, his or her continuing presence may contribute to the collapse of the marriage.

 

6. Addiction – any substance (drugs, alcohol), behavioral (sex, co-dependency) or psychologically unhealthy form of dependence can ruin a marriage.  Many of these problems also cause money to be a critical issue.

 

7. Abuse – bottom line:  not acceptable.  Physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional forms of abuse are well known factors that destroy relationships.  An unequal dynamic, never allowing for reasonable resolution of disputes, will surely cause a breakdown of a marriage.

 

8. Negative Personality Traits - constant negativity, for example, or other forms of communication barriers are almost a guarantee a marriage will fail.  We’re all human and have aspects of our personalities we wish weren’t there.  It’s just whether we’re willing to look at them and work on them.

 

9. Expectations – you have to have the ability to adapt to the ever-changing needs of a relationship.  It’s also important to not have unrealistic ideas about your future.  It’s good to have dreams and goals, but placing demands or expectations that can not or will not be met can lay the groundwork for disappointment and disillusionment.  If you have expectations, you could be setting yourself up to be pissed off.

 

10. Poor Time Management – finding balance in your life is often a lifetime project.  Achieving a good balance between work, home and play is difficult but it’s important to the health of your relationship.  Too much time working, too much time away from each other, and perhaps too much time together can all be  sources of trouble in your marriage.

If any of these issues are causing problems in your marriage it may be time to deal with them.  If, after your best effort, there is no way to resolve your problems, divorce is always an option.