The title of this post is misleading: Divorce is difficult and painful for everyone involved, especially kids. I’ve never known anyone to have a “good” divorce, in that way you have a good meal or good sex — even when divorce was the right thing to do for everyone, including the kids.

Divorce is horrible. It is the hardest, most painful thing I’ve ever done. And I had a “good” divorce.

Still, divorce is often better for kids than a deeply flawed marriage, and some divorces are better than others. Divorce can be done well, in a mature way that puts the kids’ needs first. There is a lot of research examining what makes divorce more beneficial — or at least less damaging — for kids.

Here is the main take-away from all that research: Divorce is not permission to hate.

When there are kids involved, you don’t get to throw in the towel and walk away from your ex. You don’t get to stop trying to make the relationship work. Divorce is only a way to change a relationship. You go from married and living together to co-parenting as divorced people living in separate households.

Read More: Berkeley Blog

Nearly two years to the date since the District started issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples, the D.C. Council is making it easier for them to get a divorce.

Breaking up is hard to do no matter where you live—but, that has been especially true for same sex couples who were married in D.C. but live in states where those unions are not recognized.

But, when their relationship hits the rocks—couples turn to Michele Zavos—she has become the go-to attorney for same sex couples looking to get a divorce.

Read More: ABC

Lawrence D. Kudlik, 51, of 2 Bartlett St., Beverley, NY was cleared of several minor counts while being found guilty of assault and battery.

A NY prosecutor said he was probably ”at then end of his rope” when the assault was committed.  Kudil assaulted his soon-be-be ex wife’s new husband, Robert Womack after 21 years of marriage.

Womack arrived at Kubey’s home to pick up his daughter, when Kudick assaulted him. Kudick punched Womack in the face during the altercation.

Kubey and his ex-wave children together but after 21 years of marriage to his ex and several financial dilemmas their divorce finallyended in  disastrous situation.

If you are contemplating divorce in 2012, two important tips can help you make a smooth transition.

Read more: Digital Journal

New Yorkers are marrying at a later age, and with later marriages, those who choose divorce are splitting up at a later age. A late-life divorce certainly involves different considerations. For example, you may not have to deal with issues of child custody or visitation as your children may now be legal adults no longer living with you. Though children might not be involved, it doesn’t necessarily mean that late-life divorce is easy.

According to a recent U.S. Census report, less first-time married couples are lasting until their 25^th (or later) anniversaries. Many couples choose divorce later on because they realize they want to make the most out of their life, and know that their relationship is no longer satisfying for them.

Getting divorced, however, brings new considerations. A couple’s investments and assets have lasted longer, and must be divided. A couple will have more homes or businesses that need to be fairly divided. New York courts, being in a state of equitable distribution of assets, will likely split these assets even if one spouse invested more of their own money. New York spouses also have the right to claim a share of pensions, 401(k) accounts and individual retirement accounts even if they are under the name of one spouse.

Another consideration of a late-life divorce is the fact that you are either already retired or close to retiring. You likely do not have the same regular income as you did in the past, so your divorce settlement is key to protecting your future finances.

Source: Wall Street Journal

If you are divorcing in New York, the court considers several factors when determining which spouse receives and pays alimony. The court will be considering the individual earnings and sources of income of both you and your spouse. Courts also consider which parent has spent more time taking care of the children and whether or not there was domestic violence, among other factors. The court also considers who will be raising the child post-divorce and how the divorce will affect that parent’s ability to financially support the child.

Whether or not you will have to make alimony payments does largely rest on your job, and this has resulted in a trend in alimony payments. Today, more and more women are earning more money than their husbands, making them more likely to be the one paying alimony. This may be because more women are getting higher paid jobs or because with the nation’s weak economy more men are losing their jobs, making their wives the breadwinners.

Source: News Junky Journal

Though a divorce is certainly not a planned or ideal event, there are better times than others to get a divorce. Many couples choose divorce based on their current financial situation or the environment around them.

So what should you look out for? New York actually has a lower divorce rates than other states, which experts claim can be partially attributed to the state’s poor economy. With higher taxes and fewer jobs, individual spouses feel less confident on their ability to live and thrive on their own. In addition to paying for the divorce itself, post-divorce you may have to purchase or rent a new house, car, furniture, etc., all of which can be costly.

Connected to a bad economy, an unstable real estate market, can also make getting a divorce more difficult. If you or your spouse is selling your former home, you are likely not going to sell it for your ideal price. A good idea would be to have one spouse stay in the house so you do not have to deal with the market.

Having a bad credit history is not good when you are getting a divorce. Post-divorce, you may find yourself looking for a new place to live, opening a new credit card, or interviewing for a new job. Al of these may be affected if you have a bad credit report. It also can hurt you when settling child custody and financial support arrangements.

Many couples also wait until their children are older to divorce. If you and your spouse choose to divorce with a child under 18, you are going to have to settle custody and financial support. A divorce will affect your ability to pay to support the child and even larger expenses, such as college, may be affected.

If you choose to split up under any of these conditions, pay attention to how those circumstances will affect your life during and after divorce.

Source: San Francisco Chronicle

In Massachusetts, the Senate has made an important change to divorce law by passing an alimony reform bill. This new legislation reforms a trial judge’s ability to determine the length of alimony, consequently ending lifetime spousal support by enforcing duration determining guidelines.

Before the bill was passed, alimony would continue passed the age of retirement which left one person sipping pina coladas on a beach in Cabo, collecting alimony, and the other individual working to support the person’s lifestyle. The bill now states alimony in long term marriages (those that exceed twenty years) ends at the retirement age decreed by the Social Security Act. With shorter term marriages, a specific time period would be implemented for the alimony payment, every case being different.

What does this mean? It means that Massachusetts may be the first domino to topple, and in due time, the rest of the states may follow.  This is a bill that will make positive changes; a bill that will allow people to leave their broken marriages behind and make peace with their lives-something that the constant reminder of alimony payments doesn’t provide.

Though some may be opposed to the idea of getting a prenuptial agreement, prenups have been making headlines recently in New York. While ultimately the choice is up to you and your future spouse, experts have been chiming in with how they feel about prenups.

According to an article in the Queens Courier, New York prenuptial agreements can play a key role in helping you protect your estate. A prenup protects a spouse in the unfortunate cases of divorce or death.

A surviving spouse, for example, can get the right to a share of the estate of the deceased spouse through a prenuptial or marital agreement. The agreement can waive conditions and directions under the deceased’s will.

Prenuptial agreements are also recommended in cases of second marriage when one or both parties has children. An agreement can ensure that your child has a share of assets. The passing of property in the case of death becomes more clear.

Once you have decided on getting a prenup, make sure it is valid. How do you do this? The key is having an agreement that is clear and well-read and agreed upon. Make sure the agreement is in writing. Both parties have to read, consider and sign the agreement without pressure. It is also important that both parties have independent attorneys to protect individual interests. And certainly, the information in the agreement, including financial information, must be accurate and valid.

Marriage statistics, though revealing some changes over the years, have consistently shown since the 1950s that most couples split after about seven years, according to Boston.com. We know that today couples are marrying at older ages and dealing with different financial worries and divorce laws. So why has this statistic remained? What makes the seventh year different?

A professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University, Andrew J. Cherlin, explains that seven years marks a crucial point in the relationship between spouses. By seven years, a couple has a sense of how they work together, how they sort out problems and whether or not those problems can be fixed. Cherlin stated, “Over time, people’s flaws reveal themselves. The positives remain, but the negatives build up. It may be that after a while you realize your spouse won’t be providing for you economically as well as you want.”

Additionally, while a couple may see reason to split before reaching the seventh year, they may not be emotionally or financially ready to make the decision. Raising kids or trying to move up in the workplace may encourage couples to stay together.

According to the New York State Department of Health, New York couples also followed this trend. In 2009, more marriages lasted between 5-9 years in both New York City (8,057 divorces) and the state in total (14,700) than any other duration. While New York has seen a recent increase in the divorce rate by 12% due to the enactment of no-fault divorce, it is still unclear as to how this has affected the median age of marriages.