Divorce is a stressful situation to find yourself in. So stressful in fact that you may need to being to find ways to keep your sanity intact. Here are 3 things that can help:

1. Appreciate Advice from Friends: Though your friends may be driving you up a wall with constant reassurance and advice, realize that this is their way of showing you that they love you and are here to support you during your divorce.

2. People Make Mistakes: Divorce was not what you imagined when you took your vows, however thats where you are now. Realize that people make mistakes and now is the time to learn from yours and move on.

3. Throw Things Out: Many things are acquired during a marriage, not all of those things should be held on to. Take an inventory of your possessions and determine which ones you need and which ones you are holding onto out of nostalgia.

“If I hadn’t gotten divorced, I never would have had the top five sexual experiences of my life,” gushed Tom, a friend of a friend at a recent holiday party.

What a turnaround! In 2010, at the same party, Tom* had been in the midst of splitting up with his wife of 12 years and I was offering him the names of marriage counselors. Now he was bankrupt and only saw his kids every other week, but he was exuberant about the change to his sex life.

“I’d given up on sex and fooled myself into thinking that I wasn’t even a particularly sexual person,” he explained. “I didn’t want to be the sort of guy who cheated, so I resigned myself to lackluster sex every other week… if I was lucky. We were so young and inexperienced when we got married. Now, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m approaching sex as a confident adult.”

Does sex get better after divorce? Unfortunately, there haven’t been any formal studies that explore levels of post-divorce sexual satisfaction, but intrigued by Tom’s exuberance, I spoke with a handful of recently divorced friends, colleagues, and former patients. To my surprise, I found that many echo Tom’s enthusiasm.

Read More: CNN

If you are contemplating divorce in 2012, two important tips can help you make a smooth transition.

Read more: Digital Journal

Micki McWade of The Huffington Post has highlighted some essential tips for divorce. Here is an excerpt

“FOR THE INITIATOR:
1. Realize that you are further along emotionally than your spouse. Usually the initiating spouse has considered this decision for some time before the announcement is made to his or her spouse.

2. Remember that rejection is always a negative experience. Even though there may have been discussion about the marriage not working well, hope for future improvement is usually present and the initial announcement of divorce is experienced as a shock.”

Read the rest here : The Huffington Post

Hollywood divorces have gotten a really bad rep in recent years,, from multimillion dollar settlements to 72 day weddings the ‘sancicty of marriage’ and divorce has largely be tarnished by hollywood’s elite. However they aren’t all bad. One can still look at the breakup of Courtney Cox and David Arquette has the model for Hollywood divorces in modern times.

According to Diana Mercer of the Huffington Post:

“Their marriage may be over, but their relationship isn’t — and it doesn’t have to be. They’re going to be co-grandparents, after all, so getting along and valuing their time together is an important part of getting divorced and being divorced. It’s not the way it’s traditionally been done — war and scorched earth has been the “typical” way to get divorced, at least for a lot of couples. But given that about half of all marriages end in divorce, isn’t it time to do things the Cox and Arquette way? “We went through a lot of stuff, and she still loves me with all of her heart and she’s there to support me…People can say whatever they want,” David told Howard.”

Read more : The Huffington Post

We have seen the situation before, a divorce is looming around the corner and BAM! all  of a sudden everything is up for grabs. Dividing up assets can be tricky especially your 401k, you want to make sure you are protected.

Digital Journal have complied a list of some handy steps to ensure you are protected.

Your best option is to find a family law attorney with extensive knowledge of personal finance issue.

According to Yahoo

There’s no denying that divorce is hardest on the couple and their children. But its effects can ripple out into the splitting spouses’ social spheres as well, often causing disruptions when friends and family members aren’t sure about what they should say or do when it comes to interacting with the now-split couple. Why is divorce etiquette so tricky? “A lot has to do with our own emotional reaction to a close friend or family member’s divorce,” says Margot Swann, founder and director of Visions Anew, a nonprofit divorce resource for woman. “We don’t like the picture changing, which makes us feel awkward.” Plus, she adds, it might bring up uncomfortable feelings about our own marriage (If it can happen to them…) Here, nine issues that often arise when someone you know divorces, and how to handle them with grace.

A good friend just told you that she’s getting a divorce and you don’t know the right way to respond.
The best thing you can say in this situation is simply, “I’m here for you.” In a way, supporting a divorcing friend is not unlike supporting a grieving friend, because divorce—even if she wanted it, even if it’s relatively amicable—evokes similar feelings of loss. “She needs your support and friendship more than anything else,” says Swann. The easiest way to provide support is to take your cues from her: If she wants to just spend time with you without talking about her ex, do that. If she needs a few late-night sessions to vent and work through her grief, be there for her. If she just wants a little company, offer to take her along on your morning walks or to the gym; come by with coffee (or a bottle of wine!) if she can’t get a sitter. Don’t forget she may need practical help, too: Offer to drive her kids places or ask your husband to help out with chores like mowing the lawn or getting the oil changed in her car, suggests Swann.

Read More:

The emotional consequences for a child experiencing the divorce of their parents can influence not only their relationships, but their success in school.

According to a recent study published in the American Sociological Review, children of divorce are more likely to have low self-esteem and feel lonely and anxious. Though researchers say that children do not have as many problems in school, according to the study’s author Yun Sik Kim, “From the divorce stage onward, however, children of divorce lag behind in math test scores and interpersonal skills.”

A child’s skills in subjects such as math and in developing friendships may be hurt by divorce because it can make children more introverted. Emotional or financial problems that the parents are dealing with can also be felt by the child. The study revealed that reading scores were not affected by divorce, but that during a divorce, first, second and third graders have lower math scores. This decline was also seen post-divorce.

As a parent, it may be a good idea to instill confidence in your child and show them that you believe they can succeed. A frequently changing environment, such as dealing with a move or even moving between separate households can decrease a child’s focus and ability to create study habits.

Source: KIVI-TV

Divorce usually the largest single financial transaction of people’s lives. The following tips offer assistance on how to go about it in the most effective and non-debilitating manner though the most helpful tip is obtaining a divorce lawyer.

1. Cancel ALL joint credit cards

Even if a court rules that you aren’t responsible for charges made by your spouse after you separate, the credit card company can hold you responsible while things are sorted. Better safe than sorry, they say.

2. Use joint funds to pay family expenses

Begin your divorce with these expenses already paid, rather than arguing with your spouse about who should pay them later. This includes automobile repair, clothing, and home necessities.

3. Start what you wish to continue

Judges usually enforce the status quo, so go wild: get braces for the kids, go to school, or receive medical treatments.

4. Open a personal post office box

Confidential information can be sent to you there, and it provides a stable mailing address as your life changes.

5. Open up a separate bank account. 

Accumulate money so you can get through the divorce. However, you are required to eventually tell your soon-to-be ex-spouse about the funds.

6. Apply for credit cards in your own name. 

These cards allow you to establish credit in your own name, to use when you cancel your joint accounts, and during the divorce.

7. For fast cash, borrow from parents, a credit union, or your 401 (k) 

The cost of these sources anvil credit card interest rates

8. Copy ALL papers that do with money now so you won’t have to subpoena them later.

This includes all tax returns, loan applications, wills, trusts, financial statements, banking information, loan documents, credit card statements, deeds to real property, car registration, insurance inventories, and all insurance policies.

9. Gather financial information

Even if you are unsure of divorce, knowing your finances will make you a better partner if the two of you stay together, and will help you get the best settlement possible if you don’t.

10. Copy records that you can use to trace your separate property, such as an inheritance.

If you can document them, the assets remain yours.

For more information, check out: divorce 360

New Yorkers are marrying at a later age, and with later marriages, those who choose divorce are splitting up at a later age. A late-life divorce certainly involves different considerations. For example, you may not have to deal with issues of child custody or visitation as your children may now be legal adults no longer living with you. Though children might not be involved, it doesn’t necessarily mean that late-life divorce is easy.

According to a recent U.S. Census report, less first-time married couples are lasting until their 25^th (or later) anniversaries. Many couples choose divorce later on because they realize they want to make the most out of their life, and know that their relationship is no longer satisfying for them.

Getting divorced, however, brings new considerations. A couple’s investments and assets have lasted longer, and must be divided. A couple will have more homes or businesses that need to be fairly divided. New York courts, being in a state of equitable distribution of assets, will likely split these assets even if one spouse invested more of their own money. New York spouses also have the right to claim a share of pensions, 401(k) accounts and individual retirement accounts even if they are under the name of one spouse.

Another consideration of a late-life divorce is the fact that you are either already retired or close to retiring. You likely do not have the same regular income as you did in the past, so your divorce settlement is key to protecting your future finances.

Source: Wall Street Journal