LOS ANGELES — Newlyweds and couples moving toward marriage, take note. Love, as it turns out, is not all you need.

Not if your goal is to avoid the No. 1 reason marriages end in divorce: Money problems.

Everyone knows, or should know, this. But love and a reluctance to take a hard look at our own financial habits, often keep us from seeing, much less confronting, potential financial troubles in a relationship.

Failing to do so, however, can lead to serious post-wedding day troubles.

“Mature, responsible conversations about money are a sign of a marriage that’s going to be healthy and wonderful and enduring,” says Brooke Salvini, a certified financial planner based in San Louis Obispo, Calif. “If you can’t talk about money when you are dating, that is a red flag right there.”

Read More: The Huffington Post

For Lucy, one of my clients over 50 going through divorce, the world seemed like a fast trip down the rabbit hole. Everything had changed. What was once the warm and loving home she had worked hard to create was now a threat and a burdensome expense to her soon-to-be ex. What was once a life that had revolved around her beloved children was now threatened with loss, destabilization and the reality of raising her three teenagers mostly by herself.

Lucy had spent the past 23 years doing all the right things, things she and her husband had figured out together. Now her husband was leaving her. She was heartbroken, worried about her kids and panicked about her financial future. She was 54 years old and felt her world was, quite suddenly, disintegrating. She had given so much, had invested her identity in the world of her family, and was now being asked to move along and deal with life as a single woman. She was now being told by her husband that she must get “re-educated” and “start working”. She had never expected her life to turn out this way.

Read More: The Huffington Post

The Riverside County Superior Court has announced a new resource for families and couples facing family law disputes.

The court’s new Family Law Private Mediation Panel lists over 20 attorney-mediators countywide to help parties work out solutions to their divorce, custody, visitation, spousal and child support disputes without court hearings or trial.

“Costly and stressful adversarial court hearings are rarely in the best interests
of the children or the parents,” said Indio Family Law Judge Dale Wells. “Mediation gives parties

Read More here 

A Malaysian businessman’s gift of a white Ferrari to former celebrity couple reality star Kim Kardashian and basketball player Kris Humphries for their wedding is set to steal the limelight in their divorce proceedings.

Britain’s Daily Mail reported that the 27-year-old NBA player wanted his wife to tell the truth regarding the US$325,000 (RM975,000) car.

Humphries wants to know what happened to the luxury car given to them by a “wealthy Malaysian businessman” who had reportedly attended their wedding, among other things.

However, a representative of Kardashian told a website that she had bought the car herself.

Her lawyer Laura Wesser accused Humphries of seeking publicity by trying to prolong the proceedings to dissolve the 72-day marriage.

The couple separated last October and the 31-year-old Kardashian has a new boyfriend in musician Kanye West.

The spat came up after Kardashian recently announced that she was donating US$200,000 (RM600,000) to charity to cover “double the value” of their wedding gifts.

Read More: Jakarta Post

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced during my junior year of high school. I am now a sophomore in college. I have done my best to maintain a good relationship with Dad, although I chose to live with my mother during the custody battle.

Since the divorce, Dad has verbally, emotionally and financially abused me to the point that I no longer want him as part of my life.

I miss having a father figure, even though no amount of counseling could ever mend our broken relationship. We went through two years of counseling, and the only thing I learned was that Dad believes he has done nothing wrong and my feelings about him are because of Mom.

How can I get over the pain and hurt my dad has caused me?

— Heartbroken in Michigan

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: It will probably take one-on-one counseling for you to establish enough emotional independence to toughen up.

Your father’s unwillingness (or inability) to take responsibility for his mistakes is an indication that, as much as you may need and want a father, he will never be the parent you would like him to be. It will take time and work on your part to get beyond this loss — and it is a loss — so the ideal place to begin your journey would be by talking to a psychologist at the student health center.

Read more: http://www.timesunion.com/living/article/Abby-Divorced-dad-bitter-abusive-3540835.php#ixzz1uIGy4wmk

My divorce certainly did not present itself as a gift, trussed up with a big red bow like a Lexus in a Christmas commercial. Instead, it was a big ugly box, filled to the brim with explosives. It was a present I never anticipated and one I never desired. But, as it came with a “no return” policy, I was determined to make the best of it.

I was with my husband for 16 years. Sixteen good years. Little did I know a tsunami was forming beneath the placid surface of our marriage. A tsunami that reached land one afternoon when I received the following text message:

“I am sorry to be such a coward leaving you this way but I am leaving you and leaving the state.”

The warning sirens never sounded.

That was the last I ever heard from him. The knot of marriage untied with the swiftness of a guillotine, leaving me afloat in a sea of despair and confusion. My body and mind revolted from my new reality. My limbs were racked with tremors, my mind torn asunder with the pain. A shock and awe attack coordinated and executed by my husband.

Read More: The Huffington Post

Well you’re not alone. Talking about divorce with your children is tough. You don’t want to make errors that you will regret.

There are many common mistakes parents make at this time. Here are five of the most important pitfalls you should avoid:

• Blaming or speaking disrespectfully about your children’s other parent.It creates pain, guilt and confusion for your kids. They wonder, “If there’s something wrong with Dad/Mom, there must be something wrong with me for loving them.” This can damage your parental relationship.

Read More: The Huffington Post

1. When is it more beneficial to file for a divorce before filing for bankruptcy?

Bankruptcy Attorney:  “Bankruptcy can, but doesn’t always, delay your divorce proceedings. If you and your spouse have agreed to everything, you may be able to get your divorce finalized faster than if you file for bankruptcy first. Also, if you file pre-divorce, your combined income may be too high to qualify for a ‘Chapter 7’ bankruptcy proceeding. A Chapter 7 discharges most, if not all, of your debts.

“The other concern is about the debts that you want to keep. These types of debts are typically a car loan or a mortgage. If you file to discharge all your debts other than your car and home, and later decide you cannot handle these debts, you will not be able to re-file for a number of years. If you and your spouse can only qualify for a ‘Chapter 13’ (a debt repayment plan), you would be stuck in a repayment plan with your ex-spouse for five years.”

Family Law Attorney:  “What effect then does a family law divorce Order (Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage) have on a divorced couple’s bankruptcy proceedings?”

Bankruptcy Lawyer:  “It would establish what assets belong to the bankruptcy debtor and what assets belong to the ex-spouse. It establishes support obligations such as alimony and child support that have high priority in various ways in a bankruptcy case. In a Chapter 13, the bankruptcy debtor (the ex-spouse) cannot get a discharge unless the debtor is current on support payments. Most importantly, the Bankruptcy court will not discharge alimony and child support obligations.”

Family Law Attorney:  “Who was the Tampa Bay Buc’s first pick this year in the draft?

Bankruptcy Attorney: Knock it off! Turn off ESPN.

Personal finance expert Jean Chatzky, host of RLTV’s “Cash Call,” dedicated Tuesday’s episode of her half-hour call-in show to divorce over 50. She talked to The Huffington Post about how women in particular can avoid the financial fall-out that may accompany a marriage’s demise — as well as the biggest mistake that she says women often make during divorce.

Couples over 50 are divorcing at a higher rate than ever. What’s different about divorcing later in life today?
I think what we’re seeing is a shift overall in how devastating divorce has to be. There used to be a perception that if you’re a woman and you get divorced, that was sort of a death sentence financially. Now, because of the trajectory of women in terms of their earning power, it’s not such a death sentence. [Over the past three-four years], women’s income has gone up about 2.9 percent. Now, it’s not as much of an increase as we’ve seen in men, but it’s not like it’s fallen off a cliff either.

Read More: The Huffington Post

When I was a small child, I only had one friend whose parents were divorced. Today, having divorced parents is normal, yet few parents know how to help their children when the decision is made to end their marriage.

Suggestions for taking care of the children:

• Tell them about the divorce together. Emphasize the divorce is not their fault. Reassure them they are loved, wanted and will be taken care of.

• Do not put the children in a position where they are asked to choose between parents.

• Give them verbal permission to love the other parent, because they need both.

• Avoid negative talk about the ex-spouse when speaking to the child because each parent is part of the child and when you criticize the parent, you criticize the child.

• Create an equitable visitation schedule based on age, gender needs, work schedules, school schedules, sport schedules, etc. — NOT on parental convenience.
Read more: http://newsok.com/your-life-divorce-requires-special-care-for-children/article/3666582#ixzz1sOApH5TJ