How to Approach Your Fiance About a Prenup

Many clients first question when it comes to prenuptial agreement is how to approach or broach the subject with their fiance.

Depending on your specific situation, my advice might be slightly different but there are some overarching principles:

A. Basically the idea is to discuss your and your fiance’s concerns directly, honestly, and openly.  Examples of ways to approach your fiance about a prenup are:

1. “I want to make sure that your assets are not affected by my debts.”
2. “If the unthinkable occurs, I want to keep what I came into marriage with and share what is acquired afterward.”
3. “I went through a messy divorce. Even though I have every expectation that this marriage is forever, I want to make sure that I will never go through an ugly scene again.”

B. Bring up the idea of a prenup as early as possible, on a general level while dating.  Then move from general to specific when your relationship becomes serious, but certainly before you announce your engagement publicly if possible.

C. Listen to your partner’s reaction, solicit input and feedback, and try to work out the details in a collaborative way.

D. If you’re on the receiving end of a suggested prenup:

1. Try to act rationally, not emotionally
2. Focus on content of what partner is saying
3. Try not to feel pressure to immediately agree or disagree from the outset.  Your partner is merely initiating a dialogue, which will need to be implemented by both of you over time
4. Think about own objectives in a proposed prenup agreement

E. The goal is to negotiate a prenuptial agreement that is mutual and fair to both sides. Both sides should derive a benefit.

If you would like to schedule a free initial phone consultation with one of our New York prenuptial agreement lawyers, please call (866) 830-2064 now…