Dear Straight Talk: I am 22 and getting married next month. We are planning something special in the backyard of a friend’s house with our families and friends. My father has written a check to cover most of the food. The problem is my parents are divorced and my father cannot stand being around my mother. He says if my mother is coming to the wedding, he will not attend. For years my father and I weren’t close and now he is stepping forward with this contribution. I don’t know what to do! My mother and I are close. She would understand if I asked her to bow out. But should I? — Sad Bride-To-Be, Palmdale.
Christina, 19, Marysville: No! Tell your dad you refuse to choose between them. Invite them both and assure them of seating as far apart as possible in the front row. If your dad doesn’t stay to celebrate, he can still walk you down the aisle and watch your vows.
Gregg, 20, Los Angeles: I can relate. When my parents first broke up, having a complete family gathering hardly ever happened. But this is your wedding! Invite both parents and let the choice to attend be theirs.
Tori, 17, Sebastopol: Don’t feel self-centered for refusing your father. He is the one being self-centered. It’s nice that he is trying to be closer, but don’t let him put your relationship with your mother on the line. Financial support is great, emotional support is greater.
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