Is It Easier To Deal With Divorce When You Made The Choice To Leave?

‘m divorced, as is 50 percent of the population. While going through my divorce, I read voraciously and swapped stories with other divorcees in an attempt to find insight into the pain that I couldn’t make sense of. Post-divorce, some women were brokenhearted, some celebrated their newfound freedom and some were happily remarried. But in all of my experiences, I never found someone who shared my perspective on divorce: Although I was the one who decided to leave, I still found myself completely devastated and filled with regret — my entire world turned upside-down.

While it sounds nonsensical to have made the decision to leave and then feel upset, I know now that many women find themselves in this situation. I assume that often it isn’t discussed because of a fear of how others will react. Friends and family cannot fathom why you would leave a successful marriage for a new life of insecurity, loneliness and struggle, but I did. Here’s my story.