What I Hope To Learn From Gay Marriage… About Divorce

I’m a straight woman, and a divorced one at that. So what can I add to the conversation regarding gay marriage?

I would like to share my thoughts, my observations, my pragmatic idealism. I would like to speak of old friends, two women, who committed to each other as a couple.

My friends lived together for a decade, sharing a home and a life. They cared for each other through happy periods, through changing careers, through aging parents and tragic incidents. They were a family, in every way except legally. In fact, they spent more time together than my (ex) husband and I, and I often marveled at their love for each other.

When their union came to an end, I watched them with a mix of sadness and admiration. They were respectful of each others’ feelings. They dealt with each logistical, financial, and emotional detail with delicacy and openness — allowing the other to speak, to take the necessary time for the next step, and all of it was accomplished without any legal intervention.