ShouId I Encourage or Discourage My Kid to Get Divorced?

Some parents look on with horror when they realize their son or daughter’s marriage is in trouble. Others are delighted that their unhappy child finally sees the light. The first scenario is more common, so I will begin by discussing parents who run to the rescue.

In response to an earlier blog post I wrote about the shock of receiving the divorce announcement, one parent commented: “We feel like observers of a train wreck. Our son recently decided to divorce our daughter-in-law after 11 years of marriage. They have 2 young children – ages 3 & 4 … There were issues in their marriage that we found hard to understand; but our son seemed content, so we never commented on our observations. Then, for us, out of the blue, he wanted a divorce. At first we tried to ‘fix’ it, angering our son and then after many long distance conversations we accepted that it would happen.”

It’s hard to fault parents for wanting to fix what they perceive is broken. Some are willing to do everything in their power to keep the marriage afloat. They offer to pay for marriage counseling, to send the couple on a second honeymoon, to bail them out of financial difficulty, to set a jobless spouse up in business, even going so far as to buy the couple a larger house thinking a change in domicile will solve the problem.

For obvious reasons, some marriages should not be saved. Keep in mind, however, that parents are frequently in the dark and have no idea what is causing the breakup. Even if they know all the details, they should not take the lead unless their child is in danger. It’s simply not the parent’s decision to resolve or dissolve the marriage.

Read More: The Huffington Post